i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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