Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
