he thought i was a dude.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
