Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
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