Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
