watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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