So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
