I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
