My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
