I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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