i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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