If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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