fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
