She is in my trunk
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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