Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
