Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
