we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
