I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
