weddingsv make me drug and hornr
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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