actually, I'm a sock model
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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