Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
third nipple confirmed
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize