i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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