Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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