she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
