Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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