Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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