he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
