Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
