I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
