Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize