Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Too much gin, very little bucket
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
