If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
