um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
