Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
