Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
