i wish peter jackson would direct porn
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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