So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
porn star boner night. come get it.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize