i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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