Just fell off a train. Bad.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
