lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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