His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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