i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
