I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
