almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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