when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
