He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
