Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Never underestimate the power of titties
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