I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
How drunk are you?
Completed.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
