You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
