Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
