If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
I'm really busy with my period
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