dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize