And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
