so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
