Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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