The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
