So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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