I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
