the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
