There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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